yeah, now that i've got AP+STA working, I'm trying to make it so i can build a fresh openWRT image that can do AP+STA as well as use the usb for ethernet without any additional configuration.
What is the significance of the number before the driver there, is it just the order to load it?
yes relates to priority and order
hmm, it looks like those files you suggested get overwritten everytime you make.
Oh ok. then it must be one of these other locations
./build_dir/target-arm_arm1176jzf-s+vfp_musl_eabi/root-bcm27xx/etc/modules.d/54-usb-dwc2
./build_dir/target-arm_arm1176jzf-s+vfp_musl_eabi/root-bcm27xx/etc/modules-boot.d/54-usb-dwc2
./build_dir/target-arm_arm1176jzf-s+vfp_musl_eabi/root.orig-bcm27xx/etc/modules.d/54-usb-dwc2
./build_dir/target-arm_arm1176jzf-s+vfp_musl_eabi/root.orig-bcm27xx/etc/modules-boot.d/54-usb-dwc2
./build_dir/target-arm_arm1176jzf-s+vfp_musl_eabi/linux-bcm27xx_bcm2708/packages/.pkgdir/kmod-usb-dwc2/etc/modules.d/54-usb-dwc2
./build_dir/target-arm_arm1176jzf-s+vfp_musl_eabi/linux-bcm27xx_bcm2708/packages/.pkgdir/kmod-usb-dwc2/etc/modules-boot.d/54-usb-dwc2
./build_dir/target-arm_arm1176jzf-s+vfp_musl_eabi/linux-bcm27xx_bcm2708/packages/ipkg-arm_arm1176jzf-s_vfp/kmod-usb-dwc2/etc/modules.d/54-usb-dwc2
./build_dir/target-arm_arm1176jzf-s+vfp_musl_eabi/linux-bcm27xx_bcm2708/packages/ipkg-arm_arm1176jzf-s_vfp/kmod-usb-dwc2/etc/modules-boot.d/54-usb-dwc2
while the files in the packages directory were not overwritten, the image still did not automatically load in the module 
I would think there would be an easier way to do this through make menuconfig or make kernel_menuconfig, but i did not see it in a quick look.
I've realized that in addition to that change, it was also important to make it so that hostapd did not start disabled.
I made it so the auto generated hostapd-phy0.conf did not include start_disabled=1 by commenting out the line in /lib/netifd/wireless/mac80211 that sets it to do that
Modifying those didn't work out, so I kind of cheated and in my build directory I just added files/etc/modules.d/54-usb-dwc2 with the contents
dwc2
g_ether
and that has worked. Still, thanks for your help!
unmarked as solved since I've found that if you try to encrypt the AP as WPA2+PSK it will not work if its in AP+STA.
Note that it can do encrypted modes if not in AP+STA.