Need help regarding SQM

No not at all, you always need to specify the overhead, otherwise you will only get what the kernel might automatically add (0 bytes for pppoe). What kind of link technology are you using?

So depending on where you live in relation to the game servers it might make sense to change these, but given your numbers I would leave this at 100ms.

That is not how this parameter works, you basically just tell cake how long it should give each isolated flow to respond to a drop or ECN mark before dropping/marking more, if this is below the real RTT the flow will never reach full speed even if it would be the only active flow, setting it to high is more benign for well responding flows and for non-responsive flows the fq (flow queueing) isolation will make sure, that the increased latency coming from non responsive flows is only experienced by those flows themselves.

SQM will not really wait on purpose, these 5ms is just what cake will acccept as standing queue under saturating load (in cake you can not set this directly, so if you really need a shorter target you also need to reduce interval, which you will pay for with reduced throughput for TCP flows with longer RTT than interval, again a policy decision).

Policy decision, you need to make, but unless testing what shenanigans my ISP does to DSCP marks, I normally squash them.

It will make all the special DSCP assignments in your firewall.user moot for ingress...

Sure.

I would assume this comes from your firewall.user. It appears that you are trying to combine a standard sqm-scripts installation with the bespoke qos-scheme from https://forum.openwrt.org/t/ultimate-sqm-settings-layer-cake-dscp-marks/ that is a bit tricky.

I guess you need to decide whether you want to go all in with the ultimate scheme or start (at least initially) with a more run-of the mill "white-bread" sqm-scripts install ;). I would personally start with the white-bread approach, if only to be able to appreciate all the goodness the ultimate-scheme buys you (as its complexity cost is obvious). But again, your network, your decisions.