I have the same settings, I restart nlbwmon nightly and... the wretched error message is still there!
My 4040 still has about 60MB RAM free, so I guess I could raise the buffer size still further but it's already a ludicruous amount!
The buffer size is capped by a global sysctl which nlbwman cannot raise by itself. Did you adjust the net.core.rmem_max sysctl as well? See the following thread for details: